In Sickness and In Health

I’ve been sick! It seems like it happens to me at least once a year, and most recently has been happening more and more. It’s one of those things that has you reflecting on things like: “Remember when we could breathe normally? We sure did take that for granted didn’t we?” and “Why does being sick smell like that? I sure wish I could describe that smell because it is definitely a thing that I only smell when I’m sick like this.” Eventually, I start thinking the worst. “What if this is it? What if this is the final chapter? What would all of this have been for? Did I do enough? Why didn’t I do more? Oh yeah, we’re extremely broke. Like, negative broke. That might be it, right?”

But enough of that train of thought. I’ve always been a bit dramatic when I get sick. I think a lot of guys are. Maybe even some girls. Being sick is the worst. Some tiny little spec is literally bullying you from inside of you, and there is nothing that you can do about it but wait for it to pass. Even then, you don’t exactly feel wholly better until way later. I can’t remember a time when I woke up and said “Yes, this is us back at 100%.” Again, maybe that’s me taking my health for granted.

I’ve always just expected that I would eventually bounce back “at some point.” “This too shall pass,” I would say to myself. Even when I had some pretty gnarly COVID, I sat for 3 days thinking to myself “Wow, this is the worst I’ve ever felt, bar none.” Yet, I still found myself sitting those first couple of days thinking “This will pass.. right?”

Upon finding out that I had COVID, I laughed a little about it. It sounded like the plot of a cheesy action movie. Something new and scary nearly wipes out the hero and now he has to fight to overcome adversity and get life back to normal. I wasn’t going to let this get me down. I had too much to do! So much to see! There wasn’t any time though. All of my time from this point on was to be spent away from my family, alone in a room, and potentially on my deathbed. It was strange and entirely unexpected. Most things are, but not in this sense.

Solitude also has a weird way of making you appreciate people in your life more as well. I missed being able to hold my girlfriend. I missed my daughter attacking me with her hugs throughout the day. Life was so empty without these little things that I had taken for granted. I stopped noticing them and it was weird to think about that fact. Was I ungrateful? No. I think I was just accustomed to this routine of love that I had developed in my daily life and, now that I had to stay away from my loved ones, it was like I was in a totally different dimension.

We do what we have to do for those that we love though. I thought of it like being on fire, and I had to put myself out. Obviously, you wouldn’t hug someone you love while you were on fire. (You shouldn’t do that by the way. In case you didn’t figure that one out on your own. It’s ok, we all have our moments.)

I mostly think that these kinds of things happen though so that we are forced to slow down and THINK. It kind of opens your eyes to a thought process that generally wouldn’t develop under normal circumstances. It makes you think about what you should be doing. You start to wonder where you messed up and what you could have done differently to avoid the situation you’ve gotten yourself into. It’s terrible, but in some weird way, it is also an absolutely necessary part of life. It keeps you on your toes and, in a way, it’s good for you.

Even then, I’m going to go on an unnecessary precautionary journey and take in some extra vitamins while scrubbing everything down. Because let’s be real.. who would WANT to take a journey into sickness to find the answers they seek?

This has been UpL8 and, for the first time in over a week, being UpL8 feels Gr8!