Inadequate

Trying to please everyone is hard. It seems that (despite your best efforts) no one is genuinely satisfied with the outcome that is everything you do. This is especially true today, where it seems that everyone is compared to, well, everyone. “I’ve seen a guy make a jump twice that distance with half the horsepower” or “Why even bother? It’s been done a million times” are typical examples of comments you will find around the internet. But the opinions of strangers really have little impact compared to those closest to you. Perhaps maybe even not close, per se, but involved in your daily life such as a coworker.

The point I’m trying to make is this.

I have been feeling inadequate in my daily “normal” life and that is the direct result of trying to satisfy everyone “close” in my life, but not focusing on what I want as an individual. I have concluded that no matter what I do, I will never really satisfy anyone. Which, admittedly, is super obvious. But it is the fear of letting everyone down that has me up at night, stressed during the day, and snappy at the littlest of inconveniences.

Another thing that I have noticed in these instances is this.

Most people who display displeasure in my performance are simply trying to maintain control over me as a direct result of a lack of control or gratification in their own lives. This is something that I have been having less and less patience with, and probably shouldn’t have been putting up with in the first place. However, I have been trying for a long time to not let anyone down.

The best course of action?

Fuck ‘em. Probably. Maybe not such a harsh approach, but ultimately this is the message to send at its core. The point is I (and anyone dealing with the same kind of predicament) should lead with this type of mindset. When enough is enough, and it’s time to move on? Fuck what everyone else thinks, and do what you want to do. Not because it’s something you want, but because it is something you NEED to do. Your life is YOURS. YOU have to live with the consequences of your actions. Might as well take action on something you want to do, and the results will indicate whether or not that was the right thing to do. (Read: You reap what you sow. But think positive.)

Personally, I’ve always wanted to write, tell stories, and share experiences with the world. I would love to be able to write a script for a movie or a short series, maybe even star in such a production. I would love to write lyrics and sing. I want to interview people with stories to tell and share whatever they have to offer to the world. I want to create tangible good and put it out into the universe. The thing is… I will never be able to do any of those things if I follow the guidelines set out by other people, and of course, this is true in all aspects of life.

I intend to pursue this goal for as long as I feasibly can, and I encourage anyone out there with the means and the desire for similar goals to do the same.

If you have anything to talk about, feel free to reach out and start a conversation. You can find my email on the website upl8feelsgr8.com. You can also reach out to me on my social accounts linked on the website.

My name is UpL8 and being UpL8 feels Gr8.