Subjective Feelings

You know how they say that a lot of things are “subjective,” meaning that most ideas are based on opinions? I bet you would be hard-pressed to find an individual who thinks that skunk spray is a wonderful smell. Also, what about the sweet smell of honeysuckle? Are all of these things by design?

Well, yes. Kind of. There are certain things that are majority-based right? Most people would say that they enjoy the smell of flowers, but Outkast said that roses really smell like boo-boo. Some would say that peanut butter and jelly is a classic. For some people, that classic is akin to a Nightmare on Elm Street. There are just a lot of things that we haven’t thought about from the perspective of those who have negative associations with the things we love.

Example: There are a lot of people around the world who dismiss 9/11 and Americans’ feelings towards the events of that infamous date in our history. I myself, admittedly, cannot bring myself to share the same emotions that many other fellow Americans have associated with the date. I was too young and do not remember the events. They did not impact me directly enough at the time. Perhaps I should really count myself lucky, ironically enough.

There were also a lot of Americans who made fun of the United Kingdom when the Queen passed in 2022. The date is also relatively close on the calendar, being September 8th. It’s somewhat of a neverending cycle of bashing, even though the feelings are significantly important to the group receiving the grief.

None of this is to say that there aren’t other people on the flip side of these same examples. There are plenty of non-Americans who sympathize with the nation's grief concerning 9/11. A decent portion of Americans felt for the UK and the loss was felt around the world in both instances.

We never, however, seem to sympathize with extremists. You won’t really hear anyone saying, “I think Osama bin Laden was on to something” or “I’d love to hang with Saddam Hussein.” There’s no one saying “I think if someone had given Hitler a hug, he would have changed his ways.” If there is harm done, then no one wants to give a person a chance.

A more relevant example is drug addicts, alcoholics, and the like. No one really helps an addict. They may try, but often to no avail. However, once someone overdoses with an addict, dies to a drunk driver, or is hurt by someone's short temper.. All bets are off. No one wants to help that individual anymore.

In a long way around to the conclusion, I think the thing is this: failure in modern society is like it’s on purpose. In a way, it feels almost as if it’s by design. Emotions (translated feelings) are planted early, like thorny little seeds in the garden we call our minds. These plants are the ideas that we have, with the leaves spread out on display for those who can see into our gardens (also translated as voicing our opinions.) People may love some of the plants we have.. While being absolutely disgusted with those plants we had no clue were planted by the hands of those we may have loved and trusted, but were betrayed by (translated as unnecessary trauma whether caused by physical or verbal, perhaps maybe even mental abuse.) We start to spray the plants we least desire with toxic chemicals (these being the metaphorical pesticides called drugs and alcohol) and maybe by some cause and effect, the runoff gets into other people's gardens and starts killing off the plants they love, or perhaps they poison the fruit that they bear, and someone they love eats those fruits that you have now tainted, and that individual perishes as a direct result of your actions. However, you still have all of those issues because you never really got to the root of those issues..

Now, I say all of that to say this. You cannot let those who have hurt you become the reason that you, perhaps inadvertently, hurt someone. You have to find a way to let those feelings go. Find a way to a better place, a better mindset. Not even so much for everyone else, but for your own sake. For your own ability to tear away from the dirt and begin to fly. For your own ability to discover what you can truly do and accomplish, and not be rooted in hate, or anger, or sadness. You have to destroy those toxic roots and become the best version of yourself that you can be. You may not have the shovel, the tools to make it easy, but you do have your hands. You have the means to do whatever is absolutely necessary to thrive and shine like you are supposed to.

Also, if you know an individual going through some of these things, please keep in mind that you are only witnessing the issue from above the surface. You don’t know or understand the root cause of the issue. It’s easy to dismiss other people's issues when you have no clue how deep they may be seeded, and even if you know the cause, you could never understand the damage done. Never try to push yourself into the healing process uninvited, and if you are not welcome to stay, then simply walk away.

My name is UpL8, and being UpL8 feels Gr8.